Shoutout to the “boat captain” who:

1. Told me how unique I look, followed promptly by a list of people I look exactly like.
2. Said it was nice how much fun my friends and I were having, followed by his friend saying “Keep it down, bitches… LOL I’m just kidding.”
3. Agreed to sell me his yacht for whatever was in my checking account. So, guess I’m buying a yacht for $1200, give or take a few dollars and cents (sense?)
4. Shook my hand, then asked if he could again, then kissed
5. my
6. hand.
7. Bowed out (literally) very disgracefully.

In that order, in the span of about ten minutes.